EFT Tapping Technique for Perfectionism w/ Jacqui Acree
“EFT has been shown in studies to work up to 5x faster than cognitive behavioral therapy.”
Many entrepreneurs fall into the categories of “high-achiever” or “perfectionist.” I 1000% do! And one beautiful Fall day when I was doing a 1:1 EFT tapping session with my friend, I said something about being a “recovering perfectionist.”
That statement cracked open a whole conversation! And it’s one I want to make sure you hear. Which is why I’ve invited my friend & EFT practitioner, Jacqui Acree, to join me for this podcast episode.
In this episode, you’ll discover the 5 types of perfectionists, why EFT is so effective for perfectionism, and why it shouldn’t be a goal to “recover” from perfectionism—especially as an entrepreneur. I can’t wait for you to hear all the nitty gritty details we packed into this one!
Topics covered in this podcast episode:
What EFT tapping is
How EFT helps relieve anxiety and stress
Jacqui’s unique approach to EFT
What scientific studies have revealed about EFT
Why parts (of self) work is so powerful
If 1:1 EFT is different than EFT in a group
If EFT audio recordings are just as effective as live sessions
How to find the best-fit EFT practitioner for you
Why EFT is so effective for perfectionism
The 5 types of perfectionism
Why it shouldn’t be a goal to be a “recovering perfectionist”
Meet: Jacqui Acree
Jacqui Acree is a certified Advanced EFT Practitioner and founder of Being Human Together, a science-backed tapping membership for high-achieving women who are tired of treating themselves like a never-ending self-improvement project.
Known for her non-woo, practical approach, Jacqui blends nervous system regulation, parts work, and self-compassion to help women quiet their inner critic and move forward with calm, clarity, and self-trust.
Mentioned Resources:
Feel Good Goals (EFT for free!) June 2, 3, & 4
The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control (book)
Self-Trust EFT Tapping (recording) ($9)
(^^this “fixed” my migraine last week. Just sayin’)
Connect w/ Jacqui:
Connect w/ Brittany:
This episode of The Basic B podcast is brought to you in partnership w/ Leah Bryant Co.! Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of The Basic B podcast follows
Hello and welcome back to the Basic Bee podcast. I'm so happy to have you and my friend Jacqui Akree, which I should have actually asked her if that's how I say her name before we started recording. Did I do okay?
Jacqui Acree: Well, you did great. But since we're talking about perfectionism today, it is wrong. Please tell me it's Acree. But it's such a harsh sound and everybody literally says a cree and I really should just change it because I think it does sound better. But think of like Aker with an extra E. That's my name.
Brittany Herzberg: I love it. No, this is perfect. I mean, I'm over here with Herzberg, so like I get it. No, we're all good. This is perfect. So this is Jacqui and we are going to be talking about perfectionism. Shocker. And we're weaving in EFT because that is Jacqui's jam. Before I officially bring her on to answer lots of questions, here is a bit of an intro. Jacqui Acree is a certified advanced EFT practitioner and founder of Being Human Together, a science backed tapping membership for high achieving women who are tired of treating themselves like a never ending self improvement project. Oh my gosh. That does not sound familiar at all. Known for her non woo practical approach, Jacqui blends nervous system, regulation parts work and self compassion to help women quiet their inner critic and move forward with calm clarity and self trust. And just so you have a bit of backstory, my EFT session with Jacqui and perfectionism was the giant thing that came up. So hence why we're talking about perfectionism and eft and that whole thing inspired this whole conversation, which I can't wait to get into. So. Hi Jacqui.
Jacqui Acree: I can't wait to get into it either. And I know the whole self improvement project thing. It's a real familiar story for me, for you and for a lot of us. So yeah, let's get into it.
Brittany Herzberg: Okay, so for anyone who doesn't know what EFT is or what it can do, could you give us an explainer and share maybe who can benefit from it?
Jacqui Acree: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Especially for anyone who doesn't even know what those letters stand for.
Brittany Herzberg: I mean it's like SEO.
Jacqui Acree: It's like, huh, Totally. Right. So let's first start with that. E, F, T. Those three letters stand for Emotional freedom techniques. It is more commonly referred to as tapping, which just makes it a little bit more colloquial. Like it just flows off the tongue. And it's because that's literally what we're doing. We are Tapping on these different acupoints on the body with your own fingertips. And we're talking about thoughts and feelings. So we're doing a lot of processing while tapping on the body. And what happens is the stimulation of those acupoints, it sends a nearly instantaneous calming signal to your amygdala, which is the stress part of your brain. And as your amygdala calms down, you get to access the part of your brain where you have perspective and problem solving and emotional regulation. And we want to be in that part of our brain. We want to be creative and compassionate and curious. But when we're hijacked by the amygdala, which most of us are all the time, we're chronically stressed. Right? She's laughing because she's like, again, sounds familiar. So we're looking for tools like how do I feel better as fast as possible so that I can think better and act better. And again, just the perfectionist in me is just laughing in this conversation because I'm saying the word better right away. That frames this idea, again, of self improvement, of wanting to just grow. And it's something that I've always been obsessed with. I've never not wanted to grow and be better. But what I've had to learn to do is marry self compassion and parts work, which you just mentioned in my bio. I've had to learn how to be kind with myself while also challenging myself. And the truth is you can do both. They are not mutually exclusive. But a tool that helps you to access both is really powerful because otherwise it feels like we're on this hamster wheel. Like we're just spinning our wheel else, trying, trying, trying. And we tend to be really, really hard on ourselves. But the truth is, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. Wouldn't it have, like, hello, I tried it for a few decades, did not work for me. So let's try a different way.
Brittany Herzberg: So funny how that works. So we mentioned in your bio that. And this was one thing that captured my attention because I do have a past history of doing eft. But how do you do it differently or how do you approach it differently?
Jacqui Acree: Oh, I think that that would be a really great question to ask my clients, actually, because I think sometimes what is that saying? You can't see the label when you're inside the jar. Like, it's just how I do it and it's been how I've always done it. So I actually wouldn't have been able to tell you how I do it differently without asking my people so I can tell you what I hear from them, but it's in their words. This is why I say I'm non woo often. What I see tapping used for is almost a way to try to manipulate the universe. It's like, oh, I know this is how I can get what I want and this is how I'm going to manifest with ease. So yes, tapping can help you quote unquote manifest if we want to use that word. But it works differently than you'd think. So there is no manipulating the universe. And you can't bypass being human. You can't override your emotions by trying to just skip a step almost. And so what I notice people using tapping in that way, they're gonna feel better at first because one of the active ingredients, and this has been studied in many research studies, there is an active component when you're tapping on these acupoints. So there is a biological response. You are going to feel literally physiologically better. Multiple studies have shown a reduction in cortisol. One of the studies that comes to mind showed that your cortisol, which is one of your main stress hormones, it goes down while you tap by as much as 43%.
Brittany Herzberg: Wow.
Jacqui Acree: It's a huge reduction in cortisol. We've seen that tapping regulates up to 72 genes. So you're going to get the upregulation of some genes like let's say immunity and you're going to get the downregulation of genes that let's say say have to do with inflammation, for example. So you do get this physiological response. However, the whole part of like processing thoughts and feelings, that's where I see people sometimes hit an invisible wall with tapping. Because just like any other modality, if you're trying to create something without working with yourself, like you're almost trying to work against yourself. Like I said, it's like you're skipping a step in a way. So my approach is using self compassion, which again is rooted in science and research. And studies show that an active self compassion practice, which is not a soft skill. No, I think self compassion has such a bad rap. It's like, well how am I ever going to do anything if I'm nice to myself? It's like we think we have to be this really harsh taskmaster and perfectionists in in particular are notoriously hard on themselves. Self criticism for perfectionist. And I'll put up my hand first for sure with relating to that. We're so yeah, I've Got, I've got all the hands, multiple hands in the air. So the truth is that self compassion, actually what we've seen in studies is that you're more likely to achieve your goals when you have high levels of self compassion than with that higher level of self criticism.
Brittany Herzberg: Oh, interesting.
Jacqui Acree: But we don't believe it. We think that, no, the way to get there is by being hard on ourselves. So I use self compassion, I use parts of self work, which is a fancy way of saying there are all these different parts of you that sometimes feel like they're in competition or will try to take over the steering wheel. Imagine it almost like if you're riding in a bus and there's a five year old driving the bus and there's this like regulated self who's like, how can you let this five year old drive the bus? Like you need the adult to drive. But for a lot of us that's how it feels, right? Like when we're making business decisions or we're wanting to move forward with taking action towards a goal, you can't let the 5 year old who's scared take over because no wonder you're never getting anywhere, right? The five year old is like, I'll just stop at the candy store and I'm just gonna go load up on stuff that feels good rather than do the thing I need to do. We're gonna. Or like a teenager who's really like angsty and doesn't know who she is or whatever. So parts of self just if you can learn how to work with those parts again by validating them, understanding them, giving them a lot of relief. A lot of those parts are exhausted. They have been working for you for so long and they would love to know that you're actually in charge.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah.
Jacqui Acree: And once you let them know, they're like, I don't have to do this anymore. Seriously. Perfect, thank you so much. But that's one thing that we can use tapping to do is make those connections within ourselves so that you are empowered to lead from like your capital S selfiest self. And so I see a lot of people out there not knowing how to do that. It sounds great in theory, right? Like, yes, I would love to have access to that part of myself, but instead, how do I actually do it? I'm just spinning my wheels over here. I'm trying affirmations, I'm reading all the self help books, I am listening to the podcast tests and instead of actually just looking at, okay, how can I make this work for myself rather than trying to work against myself. I want to work with myself. So that's what we use tapping for in my communities. And it's a really, really powerful tool. It has also been shown in studies to work up to five times faster than cognitive behavioral therapy. So it works really, really fast. Which again, I'll reiterate, the reason why it works so fast is you're not just working with the mind, you're also working with the body and the brain. So you could think of tapping like meditation meets mindset meets acupuncture, but without any needles. So thank God, because I do not like even acupuncture needles, which you can barely feel. But I'm like, no, no needles, please. This is a needle free zone. And so it just works really, really fast with a lot of ease because you feel calm, you don't feel scared, you don't feel stressed. You do it first. Yeah, that's my favorite part about tapping is you start there, you get to acknowledge the truth of how you feel. Which again, I think is maybe a little bit different in my flavor of tapping is I am solid for a vent sesh.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah.
Jacqui Acree: As a bestie, as a friend, as a mom, like, I am the person, if you have something to complain about, yes, please, let's do it. But what tapping allows you to do is when you're venting and telling the truth, sometimes the truth that we're scared to say aloud. This is again, I'll go back to what I, what I said earlier about how I see other people using tapping sometimes, which really isn't going to be as effective as I try to avoid the negative, which isn't how it was designed. Tapping was created so that you can tell the truth about what's hard or quote unquote, what's negative, but without any fear that you're going to attract more of that to you. It just allows you to get it up and out and then it turns down the dial and that stress response so that you can access what else is there. Because more than one thing can be true. You probably have more than just the fear, more than just the stress, more than just the overwhelm or anxiety. But it's really hard to access more when you're in the grip of all of what feels just so big. So we turn down the dial on that and once the dial is turned down, which can take a while if it's really intense, but it usually happens pretty quick, and then we can toggle over to what else is available and have access to that.
Brittany Herzberg: I love that the one Thing I would say from my session with you that was different was I do feel like we had a little bit more of that vent session at the beginning and just like, what's going on? What are you feeling? What do you think that might be? From, like, we just dove into it a bit more and that was really helpful because typically when I'm doing these eft tapping sessions, it's, you know, in a group setting and we're just like, okay, what are some things that are coming up? And the person is like creating it on the fly, which is still very helpful. But I hadn't ever done it one to one. So it could have been the fact that it was a one to one. It could have been the fact that we spent a little bit more time there. It was super powerful and I loved it, loved it so much that I got your audio sessions that you have on your website because I was like, this is amazing. I need this thing.
Jacqui Acree: So we're doing this like off the cuff, but have you tried any of the audio sessions?
Brittany Herzberg: Oh, yeah, I think I might have done all three probably.
Jacqui Acree: So I'm assuming probably did it all.
Brittany Herzberg: At the same time.
Jacqui Acree: You're like, I do actually remember. I think we were DMing about those because that's something that I'd be curious to know what I've heard from the other people that are in my group community. Because you raise a good point. Is one to one different than group and are you going to get a better result in a one to one? Possibly. It depends on what we're working with. Sometimes one to one is the thing that you just really want in order to. Maybe you want all of my attention. You don't want to share.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah, right.
Jacqui Acree: Or maybe there's something that's just really specific, individual and you just want to dive right in and just get there. That's different, that exists, that's fine. But you can get a lot of movement and a really powerful shift even in a group session or even in recorded audios. So I'm curious, what you were saying is. Oh, I wonder if it's because we had a one to one versus a group. What did you notice with the audios? Were they similar?
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah, they're super effective. And it also could be like, once I have a connection with someone, I feel like I always have that connection with them. So even just hearing your voice, I'm like, oh, yeah.
Jacqui Acree: Oh, Jacqui is in my back pocket.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah, it was definitely effective both ways.
Jacqui Acree: Yeah. It could be what I've heard from people. And again, I literally had someone tell me this in December. So I was in a giant bundle. You know, you can get a bunch of free stuff in a bundle, which is awesome. And there were more than 1eft people in there. So I was one of them. I don't know who the other person is. I have no opinion on their work. I have no more information other than what I was told by this woman who she grabbed mine because I said I'm non woo. Like in the intro, you know how you have a little like descriptor of like who you are and what your offer is. So I always say like, I'm non woo. Again, it doesn't mean that I'm not friendly towards woo. I think that the mystery of life is really beautiful. I'm really skeptical of people who use woo to sell. I get a little bit like edgy about like let's again, let's just be careful about not manipulating people. And so that's where I get a little bit about things. And I really like the science behind tapping. Frankly. I'm like, listen, if I know what lowers cortisol, I'm gonna say so. So she loved the non woo thing. She's like, okay, that speaks to me. So she grabbed my free session. It's an eft tapping session to help you root into and grow self trust. So she grabbed it, she tried it. She said she was crying during it. And she's not a crier. Um, I am not a crier either. I always joke that I'm a dry husk of a human. So again, she related to me on that. But it just brought up a lot for her. Again, that's not gonna happen for everyone. But it released something that needed to come. Like I said, up and out. So great. So she had this beautiful experience. It was only within about, I think that session is maybe 12 minutes long. Ish. So then she went back to the bundle and she. I think this is the story that she grabbed the other person's because she's like, oh, I really like this thing. This really worked for you. I'm curious to try some more. So she grabbed this other free offer and she said she could only do like two minutes of it and she had to turn it off. She was like, it was making her feel so much worse.
Brittany Herzberg: Oh, wow.
Jacqui Acree: I don't know why. Like I said, I can't speak to someone else's work and it doesn't mean that that person's work wouldn't work for someone else. I do think you have to find your people and who you connect with and feels like a good fit. But that's the thing. I hear all the time, what I do and how I do it is just a little different. And I don't think that it matters if you're in a group or in a one on one, because I'm the same in either space. You're right. We get the chance to vent. We get the chance to tell the truth. We feel safe. We feel seen with another person, whether it's a group or 101, and also with ourselves. Like when you learn to feel safe within yourself, that you can actually hold the space for that part of you who is like, I'm freaking out. I don't want to do that. I'm really mad. I feel super disappointed. Like, whatever it is, when you can hold that space, then it doesn't need to be so loud anymore. It's like, oh, good, I said my piece. Yeah, I'm good. Like the end.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah. So the first time I met you, it was in a group setting and then we had the one to one, right?
Jacqui Acree: Yes, yes, yes. Now I do remember that. You're right.
Brittany Herzberg: And I know that for me perfectionism was definitely a big thing that came up. I think the initial thing I told you, at least in the one to one, was that I was feeling like crunched on time.
Jacqui Acree: Yeah.
Brittany Herzberg: And then we dug in a little bit more and it turned out to be like, at the core of it was perfectionism. But I'm curious, what other like quote unquote issues do people come to you wanting to address? Whether it's group or one to one.
Jacqui Acree: Perfectionism is a big one. Although I literally just had a group session with my membership yesterday and this conversation came up probably because I knew I was going to be recording with you. So we started talking about perfectionism. And I asked them, I said, how many people here relate to perfectionism? And almost everybody was like, oh yeah, like so big. A couple people were like, not so much. But then again, we dug into it a little bit more and they're like, oh, interesting. Because perfectionism doesn't have to be this thing that it doesn't need to infect or let's call it affect all of our lives, all aspects of our lives. It can sometimes show up in one particular area. And there are also different kinds of perfectionists. So we can chat about that briefly if you want. But perfectionism is huge. And also procrastination, which often perfectionism and procrastination go together.
Brittany Herzberg: Gee, I wonder why.
Jacqui Acree: Well, totally. So a lot of times people are finding themselves like, I know what to do, but I'm not doing it. That theme comes up a lot. I tend to work with people who would identify themselves as either a high achiever. Like they themselves will say, yeah, I am a high achiever, or I want to be a high achiever. Sometimes there's that, like, desire. But they wouldn't necessarily call themselves that. And the reason they would relate to the term is because other people have said that about them, but they are never feeling like they're doing enough. Does that make sense? So like, sometimes people are like, yeah, I'm a high achiever. And they would identify as that. But other times everyone else would say, oh, absolutely, you're a high achiever. And they themselves are like, oh, no, I'm never doing enough. So I'm not.
Brittany Herzberg: Because they're still missing the mark.
Jacqui Acree: Yeah, those two types of people, it depends on how they identify themselves. But I would say that generally speaking, I work with high achieving people. They just may not identify with that term.
Brittany Herzberg: Okay, so we're talking about perfectionism. How do you define it?
Jacqui Acree: Well, I define it according to what I read in Katherine Morgan Schaeffler's book. The title of her book is the Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. To which I say, like, no, thank you. Like, who wants to lose control? I don't. She'll like, no, no rejection. Well, although, I mean, again, like, I am 47. I've lived enough life and been my way for long enough to realize that sometimes my maybe isn't the best path forward. So what if there is maybe a better way to do this or a different way? I just use the word better again. And it's funny cause I was reviewing the book a little bit yesterday in preparation for our chat today, and one of the very short sections that I came across that this is just a little tidbit for the listener and this might be the one thing that they take away from our conversation. It's a reframe that even this can be so empowering. So perfectionists and in general, people, probably, but perfectionists in particular, we tend to look at things in terms of like, better and worse.
Brittany Herzberg: Worse.
Jacqui Acree: There are all these dichotomies that we are looking at, like, all or nothing, better or worse, right or wrong, good or bad. So let's look at the better or worse thing. I find myself doing that all the time. I want better. I do not want worse. And I'm always trying to get towards better, better, better, better, better. And you can reframe that with different. Just different, like the word different. And again, what I would suggest is if you use tapping to play with cognitive reframes, which cognitive reframes? Now, I have a counseling degree. Cognitive reframes are a tool that therapists use all the time with their clients. And you can use them just an ordinary human. It doesn't matter. You don't have to go to therapy. It's just a cognitive reframe is just reframing your thoughts. However, you'll notice often a part of you when you try to play with a reframe that will argue with a reframe. Oh, it's like, well, that's not really true. You know, like you might get it in your brain and be like, well, yes, I understand that that could be a helpful way of looking at something or a new perspective, but how it feels is like there's resistance in there. So, Mary, tapping when you're playing with cognitive reframes, and they're so much easier to start to root into. This one in particular I thought was really interesting. Better or worse? What if instead it's just different? Yeah, that was really helpful for me.
Brittany Herzberg: That's very interesting.
Jacqui Acree: Okay, so let's define perfectionism according to Katherine Morgan Schaeffler. I do recommend the book to everyone and again, you'll, I think, link into the show notes. Oh, for sure. But for anyone who's just like, I just want to Google it right away. It's a perfectionist guide to losing control. So she talks about perfectionism as seeing the gap between reality and an ideal and actively feeling like, compelled to close that gap. Ooh, right. I know.
Brittany Herzberg: I feel very seen right now.
Jacqui Acree: Yes, me too. Because that's what I've always cared about is like an ideal that I can see so clearly. And then there's reality and I do, I feel compelled to close the gap.
Brittany Herzberg: That's nuts.
Jacqui Acree: The thing is, is like that ideal is a moving target, right?
Brittany Herzberg: Because we always want better, so we get better. And then the goal posts are gonna move again.
Jacqui Acree: It moves every time. So she also talks about five different kinds of perfectionists. And I really loved this broadening of like, who gets to be included in this group of people. It's like. Cause I actually, honestly, before I read the book, I wasn't sure if I identified as a perfectionist again. This is kind of like the high achieving conversation you and I were having. Other people would call me a perfectionist, but I wouldn't necessarily say that about myself. I would just say, well, I have high Standards. I'm like, well, I mean, really, I'm not a perfectionist. Doesn't have to be perfect. I just have high standards. So she gives these five different categories or identities. These kinds of perfectionists. I'm not listing them in any order, but by memory. The first one is a classic perfectionist. So probably how people would typically perceive a perfectionist to be. That's the classic perfectionist. There's also procrastinating perfectionist. So a procrastinating perfectionist has a hard time actually doing the thing because they know it's never going to be perfect. So like when you get to just keep it on the planning side of things, you're continually moving between that gap of reality to ideal and you don't want to launch the thing until it's ideal. Yep. Right. It's like, I can keep making it better. I can keep making it better. I have friends, well, and clients. But I definitely have friends like this for sure. And it's hilarious cuz that's not me. So that's why I wouldn't have said I was a perfectionist. I love just putting something out there. I'm like, who cares? B minus is good enough. Because getting started is better than not starting at all. So that for me was never an issue. There's something called a messy perfectionist, which I relate to a little bit, but I don't think is quite me. A messy perfectionist is in love with starting. Oh, the perfection of the start. Right. It's just addictive. All these beautiful ideas. They see possibilities everywhere and they love to start. But then once you get started, and I'm sure some of us are like, oh, I feel seen with this because you get started and then reality hits. So it's almost like you're moving from the ideal towards reality and you're like, ugh, wah, wah. You know, it's like, ugh. And so then you're always starting something new where you have a million things on the go because you're just obsessed with that stuff. Starting feeling, that's a messy perfectionist. Parisian perfectionist is a 1 million percent. Not me, but I'm sure there are some out there. It's a. A person who is really interested and obsessed with like perfect relationships.
Brittany Herzberg: Oh.
Jacqui Acree: And the toxic side of that is you turn into a people pleaser. But there is a beneficial, healthy side and adaptive side of all of these perfectionists. So a Parisian perfectionist, it's not a bad thing at all. But definitely want perfect relationships to the point of people pleasing. I could Relate with that a little bit. With my kids, I can. I'd like to have a perfect relationship with my kids. So that's relatable to me. But generally speaking, that one's not as much me because I'm an intense perfectionist. And intense perfectionists tend to be very direct. They're gonna, like, go after the goal and with, like, almost like blinders on, with a lot of intensity, hence the phrase. And often aren't as concerned with what people think about them or if they're liked. They're just really interested in executing the plan or towards the goal or whatever. I relate to that so hard. Here's one of the things that lights me up the most. Efficiency in running errands.
Brittany Herzberg: Yes.
Jacqui Acree: Oh, my gosh. When you have the list, let's say there's five things. You hit all the green lights, you do them all in a perfect order. There's traffic in your way. You get the good parking spot. You have your receipt for the thing, and you didn't forget to leave it. Like, and then you get home, and it all happened, like, perfectly.
Brittany Herzberg: Oh, that's like a love language.
Jacqui Acree: Right. But a ton of people are not like that at all.
Brittany Herzberg: And, yeah, I don't understand those people.
Jacqui Acree: You don't understand them. So it's so fascinating to me to see all these different kinds. And the last thing, I think that. Because I know that we don't have a ton of time today, but what I really want to leave people with, because I think this is so important, and this is probably what you and I talked about originally and why we wanted to bring this conversation to everyone, is because, number one, perfectionism seems to be labeled or maybe suggested to be more of a woman's problem. And we're told we have to be a recovering perfectionist. Like, perfectionism is a problem. And so it's something you have to now recover from, and maybe someone else has. I've never heard a man call himself a recovering perfectionist ever. That is not a thing.
Brittany Herzberg: No.
Jacqui Acree: And in fact, it's admired. Like she mentions in the book that Gordon Ramsay's perfection ideal. Right. The way Gordon Ramsay is. Is, like, kind of admired because of how high his standards are and what he can draw out of other people. Whereas if you put a woman in his shoes and his role, how would she be looked at?
Brittany Herzberg: Very differently.
Jacqui Acree: Very differently. So I think that's really interesting to notice, like, how, again, women are being controlled by being told that they're perfectionists, and it's. That's wrong with them. And that they need to change and fix about themselves. What if instead perfectionism is looked at with a wider lens? It's just part of your identity and who you are. Not everyone is a perfectionist, first of all. So that's something to acknowledge. Like some people are quite happy to coast and that is not again, that's not something wrong with those people. I can't relate to it, it doesn't make sense to me. But we need all kinds of people. But if you are a perfectionist, what if you could have adaptive perfectionism instead of maladaptive perfectionism? So both exist. Maladaptive is going to limit you and hurt you. Adaptive perfectionism is using your perfectionism. It's managing it in a way that will both heal you and help you. And it is a powerful, powerful part of you. I love my perfectionism when it's serving me well, but it can be really hurtful as well. Both to me as well as to other people. But because I always love the research. Here's the thing. Adaptive perfectionism, when it's studied against maladaptive perfectionism as well as non perfectionists. So in a study when you're looking at all three groups, people with adaptive perfectionism, when you figure out how to do this, and again, for me, tapping was the fastest route to this because of how it works with the mind and the body. So adaptive perfectionism, it shows that you have higher levels of meaning, which we have to have meaning in our lives. Higher levels of happiness, higher levels of general life fulfillment. So that goes up much lower levels of anxiety and depression, which is really interesting. So the stakes are pretty high. And also I mentioned how perfectionists are super self critical, which I know that is a thing. Again, humans are self critical, but perfectionists are really, really, we excel at this like we are the experts in the field.
Brittany Herzberg: We get a gold star.
Jacqui Acree: Yes, because again, like as an intense perfectionist, I'm punitive against myself or anyone else if they're not meeting my high standards. Right? So we are punitive and that self critical piece because we can see the ideal and so how dare we not meet it? But adaptive perfectionists, you do not have to get rid of your perfectionism, but you have to learn how to again express it in an adaptive way. We are less self critical and more collaborative. So that's actually a really powerful part of you. And you don't have to get rid of it, we do not have to pathologize it, we just have to learn how to harness it for good. And it's totally possible yeah, no, it totally is.
Brittany Herzberg: That was the line that I said was recovering perfectionist. And you're like, well actually. And then we went off on this whole conversation, which is very enlightening. And I have this book like on my TBR list. But I love how you just pieced it all together. I love knowing that eft tapping can be a resource for people and I really love this conversation. And of course I want to make sure that people have a resource that they can go to for tapping. So what goodies can you share with us?
Jacqui Acree: Well, I would definitely say everybody has to give it a try for themselves. Like I've already said, maybe I'm not the right fit for everybody just because you liked doing it with me and you're like, oh, this is different, maybe not right? So you have to experience it for yourself. So I have a free session. It's a 10 minute little session, so you get a nice little dip your toe in and you get a video and an audio so you can choose your own adventure. It's called start your day calm, clear and granted. Now I created it for mornings because I'm a weird morning person. I like to get up early and that's how I like to start my day. But I have heard over the years from lots of people who have now used this session, it doesn't matter when you do it. So if you are somebody who's like, well, I'm not a morning person so never mind, just grab it and try it whenever. Tapping works wonders if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, and again, you do not have to be high on that scale of stress, you could be like on a 2 out of 10, but there's just probably a little stress in there. This is going to help regulate that and then help you feel more calm, more clear, more grounded, have perspective, emotional regulation, all the good things. So grab that session. That one is at Jacquiacree.com/experience so again it'll be linked in the show notes. But anybody who's listening in real time gets a little advantage because you and I talked before you were releasing this episode. So I was like, hmm, when is this coming out? So if you're somebody who's listening after this.
Brittany Herzberg: Sorry, sorry.
Jacqui Acree: It's like, wa, wa. I can't do anything for you. Cause of course I cannot change time, we can't rewind. But if you're listening to this in real time, there is a free group tapping session. So come try it in a group. It's free. It's a 90 minute session and we're doing this in the first week of June, there'll be three days and times to choose from so that hopefully I can hit all the different time zones and schedules that people have. And we're going to be working with the concept of June being the new January. And what I mean by that is in January, we get all that messaging like it's a new year. We get that startup feeling, and we have some hopes or expectations for how our year is going to pan out. And then usually again, we kind of like hit reality, and then we have a lot of feelings about that. So that's different. That's a different time of year. But just watch for it in this next little while and notice what the messaging is out there. Watch for the marketing. Everything in June starts to become the messaging of we're halfway through the year. Are you halfway towards your goals? I mean, hardly anyone is, because reality, again, I'm talking to perfectionists here. Right. We have reality. We have an ideal. And so it's what that marketing is really doing is it's agitating that gap that you are already aware of, but it's not actually supporting you in closing the gap. It's just making you feel really bad about it. So we're going to tune out all of that marketing noise and we're going to use tapping to just really center ourselves to get acquainted with what we know, we care about, what's important to us, and give ourselves a nervous system. Reset for the summer so you can frankly enjoy your summer without feeling like you're sacrificing your 2025 goals. Yeah, so that's what we're doing the first week of June. I would love to see some of your people there for sure.
Brittany Herzberg: Yeah, no, that'd be great. I'm even like, what am I doing in June? I can make sure I'm there. That's really cool that you're offering different times, too.
Jacqui Acree: Well, you know what, honestly, I'm a Canadian. I live in British Columbia, Pacific time zone. So what I hear all the time is people are like, I'd love to come, but I can't. Because, yeah, you know, if you're in Australia, it's like the middle of the night for you sometimes, or if you're in Europe or even if you're in an Eastern time zone. So I give three that I know I can show up for, but they are staggered at different times so that there's always going to be one that'll work for somebody as long as you're not like, sitting in the dentist's chair. You're good. Which you probably need tapping for.
Brittany Herzberg: I was gonna say then you kind.
Jacqui Acree: Of probably do need like me. Totally.
Brittany Herzberg: Well, this has been really helpful and like I said, even back when we talked in the fall, it was really, really helpful and illuminating for me to hear everything you had to share about this topic. So we'll make sure everything is linked below the session in June. The recordings, the free one, the book, all the things, all of Jacqui's links. You can stalk her everywhere. It'll be great.
Jacqui Acree: I mean like, nice stalkers are welcome.
Brittany Herzberg: Nice stalker. I only know nice ones, but yeah. No, thank you so much for this. I just. I love getting to talk with you. So. I've been looking forward to this for months.
Jacqui Acree: Me too. Me too. Thanks for having me on.
Brittany Herzberg: Of course. I will catch you later.
